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Intro
If you ask me today about my opinion on nationalism, I would perhaps answer you with a bit of aggression. I fight against it and I despise it, for I believe and always will believe that it divides people by fictitious borders that we made up, we who are all -at the end of the day- equally humans. The same applies to any other label/category we put ourselves into. Religion, sect, ethnicity, they are all groups we came up with to get some feeling of belonging. It makes us happy to be around people who share our values and morals, traditions and habits. It’s understandable, but it is also somehow obvious that this is a sign of fear and weakness, as man is unable to tolerate those who are different, and bear the idea that the unknown is out there, so we stick to the ideas passed on to us from generations, and build a limited world around us where we feel safe.
But that also doesn’t take away the fact that at the end of the day, we are born and raised among people, a community, who have set of values and habits that we adopted at some point in our lives. Whether you abandoned them today or not, they will always be part of you, part of your memories so say the least, which I have explained in a previous article on how important and crucial these childhood memories are to the formulation of our character later in our adulthood.
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A southern boy
I come from Doueir, a small town situated in the southern part of Lebanon, beautiful as the rest of the country, it is green and quite, humble and lovely people all around. At least that’s how I remember it. It’s completely different now, I can’t call it a town anymore, just another city with a small window towards an old beautiful greenish past.
I had a wonderful childhood, political unrest was always there, but my parents did a great job giving me and my siblings the perfect environment to grow up in. But when you do grow up, your eyes are open to this world, and you’re faced with the ugly truth, and the environment that your parents built for you collapses as soon as you have to face it on your own.
I grew up hating on my country day by day as it decayed into a nation of rubble. It was literally a dying country, diagnosed by corruption caused by decades and decades of war lords who stole and are still stealing the country and the dreams of its citizens and brainwashing its people, all of which I faced through various aspects of the country, from the impoverished welfare and infrastructure, government offices, to the ideology of those brainwashed men and women blindly following party leaders and whom are unaware of their own self destruction. Symptoms include poverty, billions of dollars in debt, millions of its own citizens being expats, and entire generations who woke up and died on the sounds of war and destruction etc…
But all this isn’t really anything new to a Lebanese citizen. My great grandfather was a farmer who lived under the tyrannical policy of the Ottoman Empire, my grandfather was a service man who lived under the Colonization of the French, and my father is a teacher who suffered the misery and bloodshed of a civil war. He left upon the escalation of events back in the 70’s and ended up abroad seeking safety. He found a well paid job, made some good wealth there, and when he heard the war was finally over, he decided to go back, looking forward for a fresh new start with his wife and two little children, my siblings, hoping the country would rise up once again from the ashes. But unfortunately that wasn’t the case, he grew up now to see his own children leaving, becoming expats and never looking back, learning from the mistakes of the past, that this country is hopeless and in an endless loop of downfalls and destruction despite its natural beauty.
And here I am, the next in the family line, who also, like many other Lebanese in my age, had his fair share of wars and unrest; Israeli occupation, July 2006 War, 2013 ISIS bombings, and an ongoing anxiety of “What’s next? Am I safe now ? “.
Lebanese people, I have to give it to them, despite all of this unrest over the centuries, they still have it, this drive to live and prosper, I think part of them has become numb. You grow up and quickly realize what an awful environment you live in, but you have no choice, so you either become part of the corrupt, or a follower who fight other people’s wars for a couple of cash, or just leave like the many millions of Lebanese spread across the world. Leaving was always an option, apply for asylum in times of war, or migrate for a new life elsewhere in times of peace. But as the years go by, times change, and the days of our fathers become to seem so easy and full of abroad opportunities. You see, 50 years ago, finishing the 5th school grade was a huge achievement and you actually wore a graduation hat for it. A bachelor degree was like a ticket to Princeton. It’s all so different now, much more difficult and complicated. The procedure to leave now takes a lot more reffort, and what was once an option has become a dream. Not everyone today can achieve their dreams, and so not everyone today has a ticket to leave. They are stuck in a country that no longer feels home. The only feeling is the overwhelming dissatisfaction, frustration, and despair.
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A western boy
All these aforementioned events that has happened and some which are still going on really drains the country and its people. Economically, socially and of course demographically. The country becomes more in debt to rebuild itself, the people get more anxious about the future, and the youth abandon it for a better life. Just like my dad, my brother left for a better life and a better security. It didn’t take me much time to realize that I should do the same, so I’ve head west to Europe, Germany in specific, where I’ll be spending the next couple of years realizing the difference of lifestyles. Adjusting to this new life wasn’t troublesome for me at all, in fact, I have fit in quickly with the culture. I’ve always believed it is the right place for me as a student hunting for knowledge and asking questions about the universe and I was right about it. After all, it is here where these ideas emerged, and today Europe is the center for scientific knowledge. I didn’t hesitate to leave, not for a single second, to book a one way flight, and never look back. Everyone I knew told me about this feeling of alienation I’ll be getting, but not for once have I felt it. I am very satisfied with the way things go around here, never have I complained and never have I gotten the feeling of wanting to go back. It has always hit me as if I’m being demoted if asked or forced to go back. I would go to visit my family and friends, relive some memories and be a tourist in my own country, but to settle down? I find it a very foolish thing to do, but yet, this foolish thought visits me from time to time.
Recently [ as of the publish date of this post ], Lebanon has been seeing a lot of anti-corruption protests. This new generation, with crushed hopes and dreams, has no other choice but change the country from within, calling forth for a systematic governmental reformation and movements towards secularism. And these street voices, these voices of despair, I can hear them despite being so far away. Somehow they reach me, and they affect me. Some might find me absurd but there’s something in me calling, the voice of the people united for their righteous demands. I am by no means a nationalistic person as I already stated, oh no. But I am all in for human rights. I understand the demands of these people, for I am one of them, born and raised under the same roof. I know what they are calling for, and I fully support it. Yes I have left for a better life in Europe, but I have plenty of loved ones whom I would feel bad for if I never looked back. But it’s not only about the loved ones, it’s about these 5 million people, Lebanese, Palestinians and Syrians, every single man woman and child living on this land united in despair, digging their way outside the grave of sectarianism, against the corrupt elites who have been running the country one generation after the other.
Life is easier in the western world that’s for sure, and that’s based on personal experience. Here, all you have to do is be a “good” citizen, stick to your profession, work hard, do a good job, pay your rent, buy your groceries, and go back home and sleep in for yet another day of the same, while your government takes care of all your troubles, education, healthcare system, and you don’t have to waste a second wondering whether anything will go wrong the next day. That seems quite obvious doesn’t it ? Well, I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from, just working hard is probably the last thing you should worry about, going forward in life is more than just being a hard worker, and there are so many other things you need to think of and hurdles to jump over to find a humble way to feed yourself and keep you going, to merely survive, things that people here don’t even think about at all, basic human rights, shelter, security and well being. Certainly Germany has it’s own problems to deal with, but taking a random German and asking him what bothers you on daily basis, he might answer you something about the environment or global warming, which is a wonderful progressive thing to hear, and which I also stand beside the German people supporting their demands. Sometimes they might also complain about how the train was 2 minutes late. I cannot deny that it’s a bit funny when told in front of someone coming from Lebanon, or anyone from a third world country, where you hear all kind of sad stories there. Families worried about a hostile enemy lurking beyond the borders. Individuals given no chance in life simply for being unaccounted under any political party. Connections, politics, bribery, it’s all there, and everyone knows it. Individuals who lost their live waiting outside emergency rooms only because they were rejected entry as so not having a proper health insurance, and so many tragic stories that makes you wonder what a ruthless world we live in, stories that are completely intolerable in countries such as Germany that respects a human, and knows how worthy an individual is.
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A Boy
Leave me out of all these labels. Southern, western, Lebanese, German… I am a human. I do not exalt one nation’s interest over the other, one group of people whatsoever over another. All I know is that at the end of the day, we share the same needs and have the same dreams, to live and love. Where does all this leave me ? Well, my philosophy, which you can read throughout different posts on this blog, is fairly straightforward, you’re a human, and a part of this society that’s been built upon hundreds and hundreds of civilizations and human progress. You are a part of it and you have a role to play, to contribute for the better welfare of it all. And to do that, you have to start somewhere. For me, whether it was back in Lebanon, and despite the difficulty of it, I can contribute to many there that could use my expertise somehow. I can also start here in Germany, given the abundant of opportunities. My work here would be more resonant among the community I work in, since as I said, it’s the center of scientific knowledge, it’s more dynamic which makes it easier to deliver my work across the world. I have to be decisive at some point, to know where to grow the roots. But according to my own philosophy, I have to buckle up on a journey that knows no origins, one that has its root spread across the whole world, and act upon what I see is progressive for everyone. For everyone..
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Ali Lezeik 
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